I (Don’t) Have My Shit Together


I have been spending a lot of my time lately getting my life together that I came to the conclusion that I was so focused on my career that I forgot to work on myself.

I’ve been working towards my goals and dreams since I was 19-years -old. I started my blog in 2009 after my first year of college, started doing interviews a year after that, and have been running non-stop since. Honestly? I didn’t take a break all these years until the last few months because I was being pulled in so many different directions, going through a lot professionally and personally that I really needed to take the time to figure it out (and still do). It’s so crazy that whenever I get messages, comments or emails about advice on how to do certain things or how people admire me, it inspires me but then I feel like I’m cheating everyone because I’m not the best I can be. I’m now 27-years-old and realize that there is so much about myself that needs growing.

I have my shit together when it comes to my career (for the most part), but I don’t have my shit together when it comes to me as a person.

  1. No credit card debt.

If you keep up with my blogs, you know how obsessed I am with my credit score. I am so close to getting it all paid off, that I think about it everyday. It’s so extreme that my wallet got stolen the other night, that I refuse to replace my credit cards because I just paid specific ones off. Man did I come far though! My score used to be terrible (like 500’s terrible), but then when I just had to get my credit ran again he said my credit is great and over qualified to get the best rate. But, I still need to fix it. I need a 700 to be satisfied, and a 720 I’ll never talk about my credit again.

2. My own house.

It took me a couple years to establish rental history with my parents as a co-signer, but then in 2016 I finally got it in my name alone. This falls back to those damn credit cards. Now? I’m tired of paying rent. Rent in LA is not cheap, and what I’ve been paying for rent the now almost 5 years I have been here, I really could’ve been paying off my own house.  The apartment I am in right now is my favorite place ever (I have lived in 6 apartments since moving to LA) and as much as I love it, this has to be the last place I rent. I want my own place, more specifically a townhouse/loft because well, I don’t want to live in a stand alone house unless it’s with my own future family because I wouldn’t be comfortable by myself.

3. Learn to cook more than what I know. 

I just started to cook in 2015, before that, it was McDonald’s chicken nuggets, mcchicken or a filet-o-fish, Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwiches, Burger King junior whopper’s or chicken sandwiches, Panda Express kids meals, etc. It was fucking TERRIBLE. My whole check went to foods and I don’t know how I went so long eating out without having a heart attack or going broke lol. I was proud of myself when I slowly started to learn cooking Filipino dishes, then that expanded to other Asian foods, American foods, etc. BUT, one thing I lack is that I am very picky. Once I like something, that’s all I can eat. When I was thinking of my future though? I can’t only cook the foods I like because I’m a picky ass eater and like eating the same things. My favorite things to cook are: Salmon, beef steak (steak & onions), baked sweet and sour chicken, honey walnut shrimp, this pasta my cousin made up the recipe to, sinigang and kare-kare (oxtail) which the last two are Filipino foods and deserts. I’m so un-filipino that I don’t even eat the main popular dishes, but I know I have to.  I have to learn how to cook food outside of that – so I started looking up other recipes (thank you, Pinterest). I taught myself how to make beef BBQ ribs (but I really wanted to make pork, just trying to be somewhat healthier I guess), ravioli bake, teriyaki salmon, chicken piccata etc. My goal is to try a new recipe every week because my loved ones aren’t always going to like what I can eat everyday of life – and just to keep myself accountable, I am going to post those recipes every week on my blog!

4. I need to stop losing everything.

I lose everything, but then I can find it eventually – so let’s just say I misplace everything. I’m so tired of doing that shit. Part of the reason is because I’m a tomboy and never carry a purse, another part is I’m always running around everywhere and doing things that when I put something down I’m already on to whatever I need to do that I forget where I put it. I really need to stop.

5. Clean more.

Alright so one thing I really suck at is I can clean, clean, clean – but then as the days or week goes by my shit looks like a tornado. My most perfect example: When everything in my closet is all neat and folded, then I can’t find a specific piece of clothing I want to wear, so then everything just ends up everywhere.

6. I overthink EVERYTHING.

Sometimes I will sit so long on something because I think of every possible outcome (both positive and negative). Sometimes I would overthink so much I wouldn’t move. You just got to move. That’s all.

7. I’m so consistently inconsistent.

I told you earlier that I’ve been working towards my goals since I was 19-years-old. Want to know why I’m not where I know I could be? Because I didn’t know what it was like to be consistent. Part of that problem was because whenever I thought of a new idea, I just wanted to execute NOW. I was trying to do too many things at once that things never got done. The other part of that problem was that once something was working, I thought it would just keep working on it’s own without the same amount of work put into it, and then it failed.

8. I am not good with utilizing my time. 

Blame netflix. I binge watch shows that I’ve already seen before, I like being by myself and can just watch TV all day, all night. My schedule is so flexible that it causes me to not utilize my time wisely. I’ve been finding new ways to fix that problem and hoping to get that fixed by like yesterday. Free time is dangerous!

9. I put everyone before myself. 

I’ve spent my entire life trying to make everyone else happy, make sure everyone else was good at the expense of myself. I have a very big, open, good and weak heart for people I care about, and sometime people I don’t even care about. That character was instilled in me since I was a child, but I failed to find the balance between it. There are times in your life that you just need to be ruthlessly selfish.

10. Compared everything about me to everyone else.

It’s not that I was trying to win or compete, but I can’t help but sometimes compare my life or situations to others. I’m one of those, I can give the best advice, but can’t take my own. Comparing will destroy you and you can’t compare because you truly don’t know what it took for that person to get there. You don’t know what anyone’s going through. Above all, you have your own path. You can’t compare yourself or your situations to anyone else simply because that path wasn’t meant for you, and your path is better – whether you see it now or not, BELIEVE that.

People say you can’t have it all, and I know that, but boy am I really trying to come close. I know there is so much more I need to work on, but I want to just focus on these first 10 before moving on to the next. Besides, if you try to do too much, it will never get done. Progress is progress. Do you have your shit together? I mean really have it together? Professionally and personally? If not, what do you need to work on?

Get your shit together.

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